1. Accepting that now was probably not the time to lecture your mum on the urgency of going meat-free after she’d been up since 5am basting the turkey

2. Hoping no-one saw you buy a shedload of tinsel from the pound shop earlier in the week

3. Dying inside a little when your sweet elderly neighbour starts complaining about wind farms and other ‘eco crap’

4. Managing your inner rage while your sister’s stockbroker fiancé mansplains the importance of Heathrow’s third runway to economic growth

5. Feeling sad that your family took seriously last year’s drunken rant on the moral bankruptcy of consumerism and you have nothing to unwrap

6. Tearing yourself apart with worry over whether the brussels sprouts were locally grown or not

7. Shrugging and saying ‘well this is all going to be irrelevant when civilisation collapses due to climate breakdown’ after sparks fly over Brexit

8. Spending the afternoon passive-aggressively sorting out the recycling

9. Telling yourself that minesweeping the remains of the drinks is reducing waste

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